My mind replays the day of A LOT.
Especially now that months have passed.
I now know what it feels like to have PTSD. Reliving the awful moments when your life completely shatters.
That feeling of helplessness.
Hopelessness.
Upon seeing him, I screamed “NOOOOOOO,” over and over and cried and held my parents to comfort them while I was in my own state of hysterics.
We had JUST seen him the night before.
How could he have been SO critical and NO ONE knew?
I wanted to scoop him up and hug him right then and there. But he was so cold.
This LIFE, this young man with so many years to go. The wedding we’ll miss, the kids we won’t ever know, all of the things we looked forward to FOR him were wiped away in an instant.
WHY? WHY him? WHY now? WHY us?
Grieving Sibling Loss 